Fanuci's Follies

Cops find Pennsylvania Man locked in squalid apartment: Discovered during drug raid

BRADDOCK, Tx. The makeshift apartment was small, filthy and foul-smelling, the kind of room you'd expect to find in an old abandoned prison. But the squalid space - furnished only with a foam mattress, some crayons and a bucket filled with urine and feces - is where Oliver J.Blair III (better known as The Turd) and his master Josph Paul Paynter (AKA the Liberal Librarian) kept Tony Fanuci, FBIofficials said.

The Feds made the shocking discovery on Wednesday afternoon when members of the Anti-Slavery Investigation Squad executed a search warrant on Oliver Jonathan Blair's apartment on Brown Street near Braddock County Public Library, said Agent William Blackburn. "When we went into the property, we thought no one was at home," Blackburn said. "We found a door that was locked with a bent metal rod. "The door had a sign that read 'Sex-Slave on Board'.

There was some light emanating from the room, and it sounded like something was moving inside. We found a somewhat scared and apprehensive Tony Fanuci inside."

"It's a sad, sad story," Blackburn said.

Sheriffs had spent the past month investigating Blair. They made several large undercover prostitution purchases from him, and watched a number of morbidly obese women stream in and out of his apartment to procure the services of Fanuci. When investigators searched Blair's apartment on Wednesday, they found $45,000 worth of heroin, $700 worth of cocaine, a .25-caliber handgun and $5,000 in cash, Blackburn said. Blair, 42, was arrested a couple of blocks away from his home and charged with narcotics violations and endangering the welfare of a slave. "The odor was overpowering," Blackburn said. "The bucket was filled to the top with urine and feces. The only other thing he had in there with him was a coloring book and some crayons."

However promptly after their arrest, Blair and the Liberal Librarian were quickly released. 5th Circuit Court Justice, William J. Jennings said the FBI overstepped their authority in confiscating Tony Fanuci, who is a legal slave. Indeed the FBI returned Fanuci to the Liberal Librarian. Fanuci was quoted as saying, "It ain't paradise, but it'shome!"

The Liberal Librarian and Oliver J. Blair told KSUX that they intend"to sue the government for violating our Civil Rights, brother!"