Destroy America, Elect Hillary Now Gala Gets Nude Awakening

Juan Martinez
The Braddock Times Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The 'Destroy America, Elect Hillary' fund-raiser rocked BCPL's An Inconvenient Cafe Tuesday when the edgy entertainment turned too sexy for Braddock County. The $500-a-plate gala has been known on the do-gooder circuit as one of the season's wildest, one that has featured belly dancers, a Brazilian carnival band and a donkey auction. However, this was not the main attraction. This event featured a naked, super-morbidly obese man named Tony Fanuci.

"It was a faux pas, and we'll learn from it," said event co-Chair Judge William J. Jennings. The jaws of some of the 30 supporters of the Hillary Clinton campaign dropped when a disgusting fat ass ended up nude on the dance floor during what was billed as performance art.

How did that happen? Inspired by a scene in the classic James Bond film Goldfinger, Tony Fanuci was supposed to get painted in gold by a Turd costumed male artist as the soundtrack of the film played. He got painted all right. But after he was wheeled by a forklift into the ballroom on a bed, covered with a sheet, he stood up - revealing nothing but gut. Fanuci wiggled under each stroke of the brush as the artist worked suggestively. "We don't know what happened because I couldn't get a straight answer from the artist," said Sandy Berger, a spokesman for Mrs. Clinton. "It was supposed to be a beautiful piece of performance art, and Fanuci was supposed to be partly painted by the time he came out. There must have been some confusion."

Although some not-so-open-minded patrons walked out, BCPL directoe Kelly Millis said he wasn't offended: "There were three little girls selling raffle tickets who sat there with their mouths agape, but adults should not have been offended. It was very tastefully done."

Hillary Clinton later commented: "We didn't mean to upset anyone. If we did, we regret it."

BCPL News

Staff Report

The Braddock Times

BCPL Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell and retiring Operations Manager Liz Bien today announced the installation of video surveillance cameras at strategic locations throughout the library.

Mitchell and Bien said that the cameras are being installed due to a rash of DVD thefts, though some staff members speaking on condition of anonymity believe the cameras are being used to watch them. "We don't know what they are up to and what they can see, but we don't like it," said one employee. Another said, "Such is life at BCPL."

Some of the cameras have been installed at the employee entrance and outside of the bathrooms on the second and third floors of the library. Mitchell said she, director Kelly Millis, and IS manager Joannie Saulright would be able to view all activity in camera range on their computers. She also said that Children's Library manager Noah Retro would be able to monitor all activity in the children's restrooms.

Retro publishes children's book

Children's Library manager Noah Retro has published a new children's book entitled Why is the Snow Yellow? Answers to the Questions All Parents Should Know. The book is published by Pedo Press. Library director Kelly Millis said that "I am so proud of Noah's contribution to the literature on children's issues, especially the exploration of their sexual feelings in regards to adults they trust." This is Retro's second book, his first being the BCPL published Why Your Wee-Wee Grows Bigger When I Touch It: An Illustrated Guide to Sexual Maturity and Feelings.

Whitaker Gloats
Solie Public Library Collection Manager and former BCPL Texas Collection librarian Aaron Whitaker was asked for his opinions on the recent crackdowns on employee activities at BCPL: "It's pretty funny really. It's all my fault that those fools are being punished by Sissy Millis, fat ass Saulright, and the Nazi Inez Mitchell, yet I came out of the whole thing Scot-free. I wasn't punished at all, nothing went on my record, not a thing happened to me. I went out and got a better job where we aren't monitored on every move we make. We can play on social networking sites, hell, our library even has a Space. Too bad those suckers at BCPL are singing the blues now, but that's life and how you live it."

Whitaker also had some shocking news to report about BCPL director Millis. "I found out through some sources that Millis was going to leave BCPL years back and in order to keep him, former director Bill F. Dallas created the position of Research Services Division Manager, which is basically a redundant position. Shouldn't that position just manage all of the units within RSD and cut out the unit managers? If not, then what exactly is the purpose of that position?"

Man Shot at High Pockets Pool Hall

By Russell Lorrie
The Braddock Times

A Braddock man is recovering at Ewing Memorial Hospital after being shot at High Pockets Pool Hall late last night.

Jonathan Oliver Blair III, who wrestles in the WNWA as The Turd, was shot in the shoulder after an altercation at the south Braddock pool hall. The assailant is unknown, though a Crimestopper call accused Antonio Davis of the shooting. Davis, however, was in custody for another crime and deputies have determined he was not involved.

Blair was at the bar section of the pool hall when a shot rang out, striking him in the neck area of his costume. One witness said "that Hershey Bar went down like a ton of bricks. He was bleeding and oozing shit or something out of his wound.

A spokesperson at Ewing Memorial said Blair nearly died from loss of blood, but doctors were able to save him. The spokesperson said Blair is expected to make a full recovery except that his costume's head will always tilt slightly to the left after this.

Man Accused of Breaking Into Collin Park Church, Calling Sex Hotline

By Allison Merritt

THE BRADDOCK TIMES
BRADDOCK, TX - A 29-year-old man who was accused of breaking into St. John's Presbyterian Church to use its phone to call a sex hotline was arraigned last night before Justice William Jennings. Antonio Davis, who has no permanent address, was arrested by Braddock County Sheriff's deputies yesterday afternoon when he was accused of breaking into St. John's Presbyterian Church on Marchetta Ave and using the church's phone to call a sex hotline number, Ugell said.

Pastor Franklin Kirby said Davis told deputies that he broke into the same church Friday for the same purpose and ran up an $837 phone bill.

Davis was charged with two-counts of burglary, felonies, and misdemeanors of possession of burglars tools and petty larceny. Justice Jennings was overheard saying "Why do these people waste my time on such petty charges?" In court, Jennings said "because of his two felony convictions in the past, Mr. Antonio Davis will be released and will return to court at 1:30 p.m. tomorrow to have the charges against him dropped."

Crazed Man Sentenced to 35 Years in Robbery-Slaying, Jennings Overturns Ruling

By Russell Lorrie

The Braddock Times

Braddock, TX -- A 27-year-old man with a history of mental problems was sentenced to 35 years in prison Tuesday for his role in the killing of a 52-year-old formerly homeless man last year.

State District Judge Beverly Smith sentenced Letravis Gorman in the slaying of Ted Holmes, 52, after hearing arguments. "The state asked for a life sentence," said prosecutor Elizabeth Tate. "The defense argued it was unfair, based on his mental issues, to send Gorman to prison. They were arguing common sense. I would have preferred leniency, but that wasn't my decision."

Ned A. Morehead, who argued on behalf of Gorman, contended that Holmes was the instigator of the crime. "I was really hoping the judge would acquit the retard (Gorman)" Morehead said. "In that regard, I was a little disappointed. But the state asked for life and they didn't get that. Police have said that Gorman approached Holmes on Sept. 10, 2006, as he carried a sack of groceries to his cardboard home set up behind the Braddock County Public Library. Gorman first demanded his frozen pizza and then decided he wanted Holmes's money. When Holmes told him he didn't have any money, he was forced at knifepoint into his box. Inside, Gorman shoved Holmes causing him to crash into a pyramid of glass jars filled with urine and ransacked his box, taking a comb and DVD's belonging to the library, deputies have said. Afterward, Gorman killed Holmes and left through the back hole of his box.

Deputies have said that Gorman stabbed him, cut his throat, strangled him and bound his feet when he wouldn't quit moving. Then Gorman pleasured himself several times over the corpse before leaving. Afterward, officials said, Gorman pawned some of the stolen items and dumped a backpack containing Holmes's identification and a bloody knife in a trash bin at the Braddock County Public Library. After the backpack was found, Braddock police notified Holmes's social workers. On Sept. 13, 2007, they went to Holmes's box, when no one answered the flap, a maintenance worker climbed inside the window hole and found his body. Police later arrested Gorman, who watched the investigation unfold from across the street in a "very excited, and aroused state."

Gorman's girlfriend, BCPL part-time reference librarian Karma McCarthy, 59, was charged with tampering with physical evidence in the case and received four years deferred adjudication probation in exchange for her testimony. Simpson said Karma burned the victim's underwear and pawned Braddock Library's stolen DVDs.

On Monday and Tuesday, Gorman's attorneys presented evidence to the judge. Morehead said that Gorman has a history of mental illness and that he is "mildly" mentally retarded (he has Down Syndrome) and suffers from emotional problems and sex addiction. He said his parents abandoned him shortly after his birth in Boise, ID, and he has been in and out of foster homes most of his life.

Morehead said Gorman was all "hopped up on jenkem" when Gorman wanted to steal Holmes's frozen pizza. "It was a stupid, vicious crime," Morehead said. Holmes was a former military man who had been homeless. Shortly before his death, he had begged for change at the Salvation Army shelter. "To rob someone for their frozen pizza? A man who had virtually nothing, except for a few jars of urine and some stolen DVDs from theBraddock County Public Library" Simpson said. "It defies logic, why someone would make such a choice."

The next day after the verdict was read, Federal Superior CourtJustice of the 5th Circuit, Judge William J. Jennings acquitted Gorman. Jennings argued that Gorman became mad because the pizza was cold, and therefore the homocide was justifiable. It should be noted that Gorman is part of Jennings' wrestling stable in the WNWA, however, Jennings says that had no bearing on his decision.

Mama Fanuci Arrested

A 68-year old Braddock woman is out of jail this morning after deputies arrested her Sunday for trying to enter Fun n Sun Water Park with a loaded handgun, knife and scissors.

Braddock County Jail records show that Francesca Fanuci, AKA Pam Fanuci, of 69 Vadge St., East Braddock, posted a $100 bail early this morning after deputies charged her with carrying a concealed weapon inside the theme park with her two boyfriends, Antonio Davis and Rev. Dr. Bishop Curtis Lowe.

Theme parks across Texas have taken strict, zero-tolerance security measures since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001."[Sunday's] arrest clearly demonstrates that the security measures are up and running and that they work," Braddock County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Corporal Suzanne Meares wrote in an agency press release.

Park officials found the weapon during a routine safety check. Fanuci, head of technical services at Braddock County Public Library, told investigators that she traveled with the uzi automatic assault handgun and had forgotten she was carrying it. The gun was loaded with a banana clip in the magazine, but the chamber was empty. "I live alone where I'm at," Fanuci said in a television interview with KSUX. "Keeping the uzi available is important to me." Deputies said they also found a grenade and a switch-blade knife along with assorted sex toys in the woman's purse.

Suburban Sex Parties Draw Complaints

BRADDOCK, Texas - The most popular address on Kemellia Ave is Joe Paynter's split- level home, which has a group sex room and attracts as many as 100 people (mostly gay men) to swinger parties featuring "Naked Twister" and "Jenkem" nights.

But the festivities could soon be over. In response to neighbors' complaints, the city has outlawed sex clubs in residential areas. Citations have been issued, and search warrants may be next.

"It's crazy that they want to force their morality down our throats," said Jonathan Oliver Blair, III, 42, a regular guest at the parties who wears his trademark "Turd" costume. "We're all frustrated."

So are those who complain of the noise, traffic and parking problems that occur in their otherwise quiet, upscale neighborhood every Friday and Saturday, when Paynter's home is transformed into "The Jelly Pit."

Braddock, which proclaims itself "The Perfect Blend of Family, Community and Business," is an unlikely venue for a neighborhood swinger club. The city of 112,000 located northeast of Dallas has about 50 places of worship and only one registered sexually oriented business (Payntor's own An Inconvenient Cafe which is now housed in the Braddock County Public Library). Braddock officials insist they are not just another prudish Texas town giving the boot to horny gaymen and registered perverts. They say it all boils down to a matter of law: Paynter is operating a business featuring live sex acts. "It's not trying to judge anyone or pass judgment on someone's lifestyle," city spokeswoman Katie Cash said.

To support its claim, the city notes that the Jelly Pit accepts money from guests and promotes the parties on its Web site. "We're not about infringing on the rights of the Jelly Pit patrons or owners," Cash said. "But now your right to have fun has infringed on everyone else's. And now you have to draw the line."

Retiree Juan Martinez, who lives a block behind Payntor's home, said he's concerned that the parties will reduce the value of his property. Others are annoyed by the procession of cars that crowd their street on weekend evenings, or the flood of strangers who descend on the neighborhood who often leave used condoms and used syringes in their yards and front porches.

"If you're going to do that, you should open a business," Martinez said. "Go somewhere where it's allowed, like east Braddock where the blacks live." Attorney for Paynter, (Judge) William J. Jennings says the Jelly Pit is nothing more than a private residence where a group of friends get together on weekends to socialize in whatever way they prefer.

While guests are encouraged to make "voluntary donations" to cover the cost of food and refreshments, organizers deny that anyone is being charged admission to his parties. Rev. Dr. Curtis Eldorado Lowe, a regular patron of the Jelly Pit on "White Ho' Nights", said "da gests gib no munee', but doz hoo do gib tin or twinty dollas'."

Paynter said he plans to file a lawsuit next week that will challenge the constitutionality of the ordinance and seek a temporary retraining order against the city. "I think it's persecution and an invasion of our privacy," Paynter said. Paynter further argued, "Just because we have orgies on our front lawns and occasionally in neighbor's yards or their swimming pools, does not give these fascists the legal authority to infringe upon our constitutional right to fornicate!!"

Anthony Erricsun, a Braddock Law School professor who studies sexuality law, said the size of the parties might be a legal obstacle. "It seems to me when you have that number of people involved, it becomes more like a public event," Erricsun said. "It seems unlikely that a court would find privacy protection for an event this large."

The city has already cited Paynter with 57 violations, which carry a combined maximum $50 fine. Braddock City Manager Kent Cagle this week pledged to continue enforcing the new law. The case against the swinger parties "does appeal to a lot of people's sense of morality," said Cash, the city spokeswoman. "That's been a lot of complaints we've gotten from residents: 'I came to Braddock to have a family. I didn't come here to live next to a sex club."

Breaking News

An Inconvenient Cafe Reopens at BCPL

Russell Lorrie
The Braddock Times

BCPL Director Kelly Millis tonight announced that An Inconvenient Cafe and GLBT Lingerie Bar will now be housed in the former adult non-ficition section of the library.

Millis said that "we have been looking at a way to rid ourselves of the non-fiction section for some time. Most of our customers don't read non-fiction. Non-fiction is for educated people and is more academic. Our library focuses more on throw away fiction and computer use for our customers. We have also been looking to add a cafe to our library, so I feel that this cafe run by Judge Jennings and our own Liberal Librarian was a no brainer. I am just peachy keen, pleased as punch to have my favorite restaurant and entertainment spot in our library."

Children's librarian Noah Retro was elated at the news and hopes to hold children's story times in the bar area of the cafe.

Attempted murderer still at large after prison escape

Attempted murderer still at large after prison escape

Braddock, TX (AP) - State police say a convicted attempted murderer is still at large this morning after he escaped from a light-security prison in Braddock.

Authorities say 33-year-old Tyrone Jefferson of Braddock was discovered missing Saturday afternoon when guards did a routine count at the Braddock County Prison Farm. The prison is located in a rural area of the county.

Prison officials say surveillance tape shows Jefferson, who recently joined the Aryan Brotherhood and demands to be called Tyrone Jefferson Davis, hid in a garbage can and escaped when it was hauled away from the prison.

Jefferson was sentenced to 20 years to life in prison in August for attempted murder on Judge William J. Jennings during a WNWA wrestling event. He was originally confined to a maximum security federal prison in Leavenworth, KS. He was moved to the prison farm in October.

Jefferson is described as an African-American man, about 6-foot and 245 pounds.

Braddock resident Rev. Dr. Curtis Lowe said that he "ain't afraid of Tyrone. Tyrone a fool! Dey used his asshole for a pussy in prison." Lowe did say, however, that he has suffered from nightsweats and insomnia since he heard of Jefferson's escape.

Dog excrement used in attack on enslaved fatass

By Duncan Eaton
The Braddock Times

Braddock, TX. A gang of "rednecks," one of whom was wearing a "Richard Nixon" mask, smeared dog excrement on Tony Fanuci during a gang attack. The unprovoked ordeal has left the 650 pound victim terrified of walking to the Braddock County Public Library on his own. He was attacked from behind by four or five rednecks as he walked home from BCPL.

Tony Fanuci was walking along Kemellia Ave around 3:30pm when one of the attackers covered his eyes while another held his arms behind his back. A third attacker pulled Fanuci's shorts down and another smeared dog excrement over his lower body. The degrading assault lasted for around a minute before the attackers eventually walked away.

"This is a terrible incident and although Fanuci wasn't injured, he suffered an horrific and humiliating ordeal," said Braddock County Sheriff's Deputy Andrew Young, who added that patrols were being stepped up. The offenders are all described as being between 30 and 50 years and all over 6 ft tall. They were wearing masks and tracksuit bottoms, all grey in color. One of the offenders was wearing a Ronald Reagan mask and shouting obscenities against the "Liberal Librarian" the legal owner and master of Tony Fanuci.

Fanuci later said, "that was the most humiliated I have ever been, and believe me, I know humiliation. I just hope the master isn't too disappointed in me."

Shocking News at Braddock Church

The Braddock Times - The 75-year-old leader of a Braddock church is at the center of a sex scandal of biblical dimensions: He slept with his nephew's wife and fathered a child by her.

Members of Rev. Dr. Archbishop Curtis Eldorado Lowe's family stood at the pulpit of the Mount Holy Olive People's Temple a few Sundays ago and revealed the secret exposed by a recent court-ordered paternity test. In truth, this is not the first - or even the second - sex scandal to engulf Lowe and the independent, charismatic church. But this time, he could be in trouble with the law for lying under oath about the affair.

The living proof of that lie is 31-year-old Shitifa Shaqueen Moore, the assistant pastor at the church, who for years was known publicly as Lowe's cousin. "I is sawree fo' da damug disi be causing da chuch' and my frunds hu'tby da removing ub da vale dat hid my daddy sinyuns," said Moore, who received the mantle of assistant pastor earlier this year.

Moore said she did not learn the secret of her parentage until the paternity test. "I wuz su'prized," she said. "Tyrone be da daddie ubmy chirrunss, dow, that a fack." Lowe, his nephew, Raeshown, and his sister-in-law, Daqueenesha, did not return calls for comment.

A judge ordered the test at the request of the Braddock County district attorney's office and the Texas Rangers, which are investigating Lowe for possible perjury and false-swearing charges stemming from a lawsuit. The archbishop, his nephew and the church are being sued by formerchurch employee Shamonna Brewer, who says Curtis Lowe manipulated her into an affair last year by telling her it was her only path to salvation. Lowe admitted to the affair in front of the church in June. In a 2006 deposition stemming from the lawsuit, the archbishop said under oath that the only woman he had ever had sex with outside of his marriage was Brewer. But the paternity test said otherwise.

So far no charges have been filed against Curtis Lowe. DistrictAttorney Carl Jones and Ranger spokesman Cordell Walker would not comment.

The shocking results of the paternity test are speeding up a transformation already under way in the church after more than a decade of sex scandals and lawsuits involving Lowe. For years the church was at the forefront of many social movements -admitting mixed marriage members, encouraging open sexual relations, ordaining women and opening its doors to gays.

By soliciting tithes of 40 percent from each member's income, Lowe has been able to build a women's shelter/brothel, wear expensive clothes and jewelry and purchase a Cadillac. At its peak, the church boasted a membership of 1,500. Today, though, membership is down to about 25- a downturn blamed largely on complaints about the alleged sexual transgressions of Lowe.

In 2007, a church member claimed she was pressured into a sexual relationship with Lowe. Other women also claimed they had been coerced into sex with Lowe and other members of the church's administration. The church countered with a $24 million libel suit against seven former church members. The lawsuit was later dropped.

Sejan Royston, who left the church in 2007, started an online support group for former members to discuss their crushed faith and hurt feelings. "This is a cult. And you escape from a cult," she said. "We all escaped."

These days, Lowe, who is also a manager for the WNWA and a maintenance worker at BCPL, has a much-reduced role at the church, giving 10-minute lectures as part of Sunday morning worship each week.

Steelers fan humiliated by "Gate D Party"

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (CBS)

They're subjected to taunting and teasing. Women and men with large breasts are being encouraged to expose themselves. It's happening during halftime at New York Jets football games.

A shocking video that initially surfaced on YouTube has cast a bad light on the Jets and their fans. The video shows what is known as a"Gate D Party," clearly not what most fans pay to see when they come to the team's home games at Giants Stadium.

Mostly male fans pack the stadium's spiral columns, presumably drinking beer, sometimes encouraging young women to lift up their shirts."The fans -- they're excited and stuff like that," said Chino Ramos ofthe Bronx. "They do it in New Orleans all the time. No, I don't have a problem with it."

The gathering is nothing new, but many say it has changed -- for the worse. On Sunday, visiting Steelers fan Tony Fanuci unknowingly walked into the crowd where he says hundreds of men singled him out and screamed for him to show his breasts. "People were touching me and things like that and it was very, very frightening," Fanuci said in a voice eerily reminscent of Curly Howard of the Three Stooges. When Fanuci refused to comply, it got ugly. "They started yelling obscenities and throwing beer bottles, and spitting and it was really intimidating." Fanuci stated "As I was looking for my master, the Liberal Librarian, I saw a security guard walking by. I thought 'Oh great! He'll stop this.' But he didn't. He just kind of was shaking his head. He kind of chuckled to himself. He didn't stop it. He just kept walking."

John Santangelo of West Milford, Conn., said that type of behavior has been prevalent at Jets games for a long time. In a written statement, State Senate President Richard Codey on Tuesday called for the state police and New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority to increase security, adding:"Apparently, Gate D stands for drunk and disgusting. It's beyond comprehension why security personnel would tolerate such behavior.

Even with beefed up game day security in the spiral, it's unclear if it would change some of the rowdy behavior. State police and stadium officials say while they will arrest someone for exposing themselves-- there's no public safety concern and nothing illegal about chanting during a football game. However, fans caught harassing anyone will be ejected and if they have season tickets those tickets could be voided. And the Jets released a statement a short time ago, saying "We will not allow a small minority of people to ruin the experience for our fans and will be monitoring the situation."

To Fanuci, that's not nearly good enough."You feel very demoralized when it happens to you," Fanuci said."Whether you're a man or woman. It's public humiliation. And someone should stop it."

Fanuci said the worst part of the ordeal was watching his "beloved Steelers humiliated by the lowly Jets."

BCPL Hires New Texas Collection Employee

In an attempt to lure the temporarily retired Jabberjaw back to take over the Texas Collection from CityD, Kelly Millis has hired a new Texas Collection Librarian.

"We are so pleased to announce the hiring of Master Harry Bates. Master Bates is an expert genealogist and is well-published. He is a very close, personal friend of mine and of Noah Retro, so we are pleased as punch to offer him our favorite position. He will make a great addition to our staff. While he is more than capable of rebuilding our now ruined Texas Collection, I still prefer to have the experience and friendly nature of Jabberjaw to hold the position, hopefully she will return to lead our genealogy collection for several more decades."

CityD and Steven Grant were unavailable for comment. Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell said that "I could care less if that fat hog comes back to work here. I never liked the lazy, incompetent old bag anyway. I hoped that by getting rid of (Aaron) Whitaker, she would retire, and in turn, force her geeky husband to follow, but she just took a bunch of leave. It was my goal to shut the collection down by allowing The Liberal Librarian to weed the entire collection and then to put that insane CityD in charge, but alas, Kelly wants to bring Thehuts back."

Braddock News Briefs

Braddock Librarian convicted of stealing book from mentally ill man; Judge throws out decision

By TRACY JOHNSON
The Braddock Times

Braddock, TX. A librarian accused of swindling a mentally ill man outof a $10 book and stealing $70,000+ while he was hospitalized for psychiatric care was found guilty Thursday of theft.

A Braddock County jury took about two hours to convict Joseph Paul Paynter, 36, for his part in an alleged scam by librarians at the Braddock County Public Libary in Braddock, Texas. The jury agreed that Paynter stole the book from Billy "CityD" Huffman, 63,through deception, taking advantage of his troubled mental state in what one juror called a sad commentary. "It always amazes me how man can treat his fellow man," juror Mark Knowles said afterward.

Jurors also found that Huffman was a vulnerable victim, which allowed prosecutors to seek a longer sentence than the usual maximum of three months in jail for first-degree theft. "This closes one chapter of a very sad set of circumstances at the Braddock County Public Library," Deputy Prosecutor Tim Leary said. In July 2006, Huffman, who now works at BCPL as Texas Collection Supervisor, arrived at the Braddock County Public Library wearing soiled clothing and bought a discarded book, a Polk City Directory, agreeing to pay a higher than normal price with a pile of $100 bills stuffed in a plastic bag. Prosecutors say Paynter's colleagues heard the mentally troubled man bragging about having more cash at home, so several groups of them went to his apartment to steal it. Paynter and two men accused of taking $70,000 from a dresser will face trial in January. Paynter became involved when the book was impounded and Huffman called the library seeking help. Paynter paid to get the book back and agreed to hold it for Huffman, who by then had been committed for psychiatric care.

Paynter drew up contracts giving him power of attorney over Huffman and brought them to the hospital. Huffman agreed to pay Paynter $15,200 to hand over the book, but he was hospitalized and didn't come up with the money in time. Paynter transferred Huffman's property into his name.

After the verdict was announced Thursday, Paynter said he didn't know what to say about the jury's decision. His friend, Jonathan OliverBlair III, said, "We're disappointed, and we're not done yet." The allegations against Paynter and the other two, Antonio "Da Crunk" Davis and the Rev. Dr. Bishop Curtis Eldorado Lowe, have been blamed for the scandal at the Braddock County Public Library and are at the center of a lawsuit against BCPL director Kelly Millis.

The money was to be put into a trust for Huffman, who now lives in a group home. However, at the last possible moment for a legal maneuver, Judge William J. Jennings acquitted all three of any wrong-doing, and allowed them to keep their "rightfully gained earnings." Jennings also ordered Braddock County to pay the three "wrongfully accused" men $325,000 each for pain and suffering.

In other news at the scandal stricken Library, with the promotion of Inez Mitchell to Library Operations Manager after the retirement of Liz Bien, an interim head of the Research Services Division has been named. Marilyn Krakowski has been named the interim head. The new position carries more responsibility but no increase in pay. Krakwoski said she is happy to have the "opportunity for such a prestigious position at such a prestigious institution. I have a very big seat to fill." Off the record, Krakowski was quoted as saying "I was such a fool." Krakowski has been at the library less than a year and passed over several co-workers, most notably Karma McCarthy, a seven year part-time employee and John Thehut, a 13 year veteran. The library also announced the resignation of Librarian I Chad Folsum, who took a position at nearby Solie Public Library as a Librarian III.

Thieving monkeys 'out of control' in northeast Braddock County

Russell Lorrie
The Braddock Times

Troupes of monkeys are out of control in Braddock's northeast, stealing mobile phones and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.

"Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators," Larry Barnes told Braddock County's Board of Commissioners. He said the primates were "even slapping women who try to chase them."

"It is a cause of serious concern in my area, with more than 1,000 such simians turning aggressive by the day," fumed Sheriff Fenton Washburn. He said the worst ones were Antonio "Da Crunk" Davis and "that fake preacher" Curtis Lowe.

Because of increasing welfare payments, monkeys have increasingly moved into cities elsewhere in Texas as well. Last week, around two dozen people were hurt after monkeys rampaged through a Palmer neighborhood.

Last month, the mayor of Sophie died when he fell from his balcony after being attacked by monkeys. Efforts to drive out the animals is complicated by political correctness and the Democrat party in Texas--headed by Judge Jennings.

Inconvenient Cafe Closed

Braddock Health Dept. Closes Restaurant Selling $25,000 French Tickler

Inspector Finds Mice, Piles Of Droppings, 1,000 Roaches, Flies, UsedCondoms; Store Failed Fifth Inspection In A Month

The Braddock Times

If you've been saving your nickels and dimes for the$25,000 French Tickler unveiled last week at "An Inconvenient Cafe," the popular coffee, dessert, and gay sex shop located downtown on MLK Blvd, we've got some not-so-delectable news for you. The Health Department confirmed Thursday to The Braddock Times that the shop had been shut down Wednesday night after failing its fifth straight inspection in just a month's time. Department officials tell The Braddock Times that both inspections revealed "rodent and fly infestation and conditions conducive to pest infestation, including stagnant water in the basement."

Inspectors say, "the problems get worse every time we visit!" The plumbing was reportedly so out of line that the "sewage disposal system [was] backing up into the plumbing feeding the water fountain."

On Wednesday night, the cafe', which has been featured in numerous OIL TV shows, apparently kept open its wild zoo of filth for inspectors. The Department says the inspector came upon live mice, more than 1,000 live cockroaches, fruit flies, house flies, used condoms in the kitchen area, overflowing toilets, a guy in a "turd"costume, and piles of mouse droppings scattered about the restaurant.

Just last week, owner Joseph Paynter introduced the world to his slightly overpriced "Golden French Tickler". For $25,000, a customer could purchase the device with edible lubricants and Jenkem. It even came with a copy of Braddock Library's Gay-4-Pay magazine. The proceeds for the tickler went to the "Defeat Freedom, Elect Hillary Now!" campaign. Sadly though, the cafe has been closed. Looks like you'll have to spend your 25-grand on something else.

Cafe' officials have not commented on the closure, except to say Judge Jennings will have the final say on the matter.

BCPL Hires New Head of Technical Services

Russell Lorrie
The Braddock Times

BCPL Director Kelly Millis today announced the promotion of bookmobile driver Francesca Fanuci to the post of Head of Technical Services. "We are lucky to have an employee who works with such diligence and tenacity as Mrs. Fanuci. She is a role model for others and is a fine mother, friend, and worker."

Some have questioned the promotion of Mrs. Fanuci to such a high position within the library considering she has no formal training as a librarian and has only worked at BCPL for five months, and that in a volunteer capacity. As far as we can determine she has never even done any copy cataloging. Former employee Aaron Whitaker said, "It's hardly surprising. You have a high school dropout, registered sex offender as the head of the Children's Library, an old hag that gained most of her library experience in Mexico as the Library Operations Manager, a bunch of freaks in GRS who couldn't work their way out of a wet paper bag, a recently retired (for the tenth time) verbal dyslexic, a shock therapy victimized scam artist running the Texas Collection and a damn secretary running the IT end of the library. So to hire Francesca Fanuci, whose only claim to fame was getting in a fight in the break room with Mrs. Thehut back in June is par for the course for the wisdom of Ms. Millis (emphasis added).

Whitaker was not the only person questioning the decision. Library Board member and Braddock County Commissioner T. Diana Belle-Little simply shook her head when asked about the hire. Truman Marlin, a frequent patron said, "same old same old, just another old white woman." One current BCPL employee who asked to remain nameless said "This place is the worst run place I've ever heard of. It makes the sitcom The Office look well-managed. I don't even care anymore, I'm out of here soon anyway."

Son of BCPL Reference Librarian and Braddock Mayoral Candidate Arrested for Possession of Drugs

By Russell Lorrie
The Braddock Times

Ian McCarthy, 18, son of Braddock Mayoral candidate and BCPL librarian Karma McCarthy, was arrested yesterday at South Braddock High School on charges of possession of drugs and drug paraphenalia according to Braddock County Sheriff Fenton Washburn.

Mr. McCarthy, who just recently enrolled at South Braddock High after years of being home schooled by his mother, claims that he was "set-up by Aaron Whitaker `cause that dude's out to get my mom for ratting him out." McCarthy was released on $1,000 bail posted by Tony Fanuci.

When asked about McCarthy's allegations, Whitaker, who is employed at Solie Public Library and does political consulting work, said that "well, we see that young Ian has inherited his mother's sense of paranoia and propensity for drug abuse. Hopefully he didn't inherit her foot fungus and have to wear smelly sandals. I know that Karma has another goofball kid that she home schools in their old hippie stripper van. One of my sources at BCPL tells me that the other snot nose, Alex, refuses to take his final home school test to obtain his diploma. I guess the real world is just too tough for him. Well, how does the old stripper try to deal with that? She goes out and buys the little bastard a laptop. So, now he can sit at home and play on MySpace with his paranoid mommy looking to see what other people may have said about them."

Karma McCarthy was unavailable for comment as she is training for an upcoming WNWA wrestling match and hoping for a promotion to full time status at BCPL after seven years as a part time employee.

BCPL adds more meaningless groups and meetings

OP ED piece by Aaron Whitaker, special to The Braddock Times.

In yet another bizarre waste of tax payer's time and resources, BCPL has formed a new group, G.A.S.P., to discuss their upcoming and seemingly never-to-begin expansion project. GASP, which stands for Group Aesthetic Style Planning or some stupid shit like that (if Kelly Millis is involed it probably stands for Gay Ass Shit Plower) is yet another way for BCPL's lazy ass management team to shirk their duties and get fatter by hogging down on doughnuts while pretending to work. That's why Library IT Specialist Joannie Saulright and Operations Manager Inez Mitchell have wide load signs hanging off their ever widening asses. Maybe that's why they named the group GASP, because that's what people do when they see their asses.

Next up, the biggest waste of time and resources on BCPL's calendar: Staff Development Day!!! Let's close the library at noon and eat Subway sandwiches, sit around and gossip and make fun of "that old stripper" Karma (all good as long as it's not done on the Internet) and watch Kelly Millis cry because somebody slighted him or because some old bag retired, or his sister croaked or because "we've had a really trying year." What a crock of shit.

Jenkem: Huffing Shit-Gas

At the Kem Hardie Russell sewage ponds, two teenage boys plunge their hands into the dark brown sludge, gathering up fistfuls and stuffing it into small plastic bottles. They tap the bottles on the ground, taking care to leave enough room for methane to form at the top. A sour smell rises in the hot sun, but the boys seem oblivious to the stench and the foul nature of their task.

They are manufacturing "Jenkem", a disgusting, noxious mixture made from fermented sewage. It is cheap, potent and very popular among the hundreds of homeless in Braddock, TX. When they cannot afford glue or are too scared to steal gasoline, these bums turn to Jenkem as a way of getting high.

"It lasts about an hour", says one user, Oliver Jonathan Blair III, who prefers Jenkem to other substances. "With glue, I just hear voices in my head. But with Jenkem, I see visions and smell shit. I see my mother who is dead and I forget about the problems in my life."

Tallest US Man Is 7-Foot-8 Braddock Deputy

NORFOLK, Va. (AP) - To all those people who blurt out "Wow, you're tall!" as they stare up at Obumawe Blubmake Issa : He knows. And now, the world will know, too. The lanky, 7-foot-8 Braddock sheriff's deputy and part time WNWA wrestler is being recognized Thursday by Guinness World Records as the Tallest Man in the United States.

That makes him 2 inches taller than the NBA's current tallest player, Yao Ming, but too short to be the world's tallest living man. He stands below, according to Guinness, Ukraine's 8-foot-5.5 Leonid Stadnyk and China's Bao Xi Shun, who is 7 feet 8.95 inches.

To answer the inevitable questions:
Issa wears size-19 shoes, pants with a 43-inch inseam and shirts with 45-inch sleeves.
He did play basketball, in his native Nigeria and with the Benin Wizards and Lagos City Globetrotters show teams.

And as for how he feels about being so tall?

"I have no choice but to like it," Issa, 28, said in an interview with The Associated Press as he paced the sidelines of a Pee Wee football game at a city park, where he was providing security.
"I'm used to a small man's world," he added in a deep voice that suits his stature. "I've been dealing with a small man's world since I was a kid."

Issa was to be revealed as America's tallest man on ABC's "Good Morning America" on Thursday, when 200,000 people worldwide were expected to celebrate Guinness World Records Day by attempting to set records of their own.

Guinness began searching for America's tallest man in August. Issa's manager and attorney, Daniel O. Agbor, registered him online, and Guinness spokesman Stuart Claxton said Issa's doctor documented his height.

The Guinness record book now lists only the tallest man in the world, but Issa will be noted—along with the tallest men in several other countries—in the edition to be published next year.
Issa hit 5-foot-4 at age 9. In middle school, he topped 6 feet. By the end of high school, he was 7-foot-6. He played wrestled full-time until a few months ago when he lost interest in the sport and switched to law enforcement.

His height doesn't intimidate jail inmates—it helps him develop a rapport.

"They've never seen anyone this tall before, so they're amazed," Issa said. "They want to talk."
Issa focuses on the perks of being tall. For example, he usually gets free upgrades to first class on flights when the ticket-counter attendants realize he's going to need a lot of leg room.

Braddock County Sheriff's Bulletin

New Drug – JENKEM

On 10/19/07 Deputy Testaverde received an email from a concerned
parent regarding a new drug called "Jenkem". The parent advised their
child learned about this drug from a gentleman in a "Turd Costume" at the
Braddock County Public Library and at Word Net Wrestling Alliance
(WNWA) events.

Jenkem originated in Africa by fermenting raw sewage to create a gas which is inhaled to achieve a high. Jenkem is now a popular drug in American Schools. Jenkem is a homemade substance which consists of fecal matter and urine. The fecal matter and urine are placed in a bottle or jar and covered most commonly with a balloon. The container is then placed in a sunny area for several hours or days until fermented. The contents of the container will separate and release a gas, which is captured in the balloon. Inhaling the gas is said to have a euphoric high similar to ingesting cocaine but with strong hallucinations of times past.

BCPL Director Kelly Millis wins TLA GLBT Award

BCPL Director Kelly Millis is all smiles after recieving the coveted Texas Library Association's GLBT Issues Committee's Awareness Award for his novel, A Man Named Kim: A Middle Aged Man Comes to Terms with His Sexuality.

This is Millis' first novel and the first award from a library body that BCPL has ever won. Noah Retro, Millis' close friend and Children's Librarian at BCPL assisted with the research for the novel and contributed the forward to the book.

BCPL kicked off a week-long celebration with attendees from the Texas chapter of NAMBLA. Unfortunately for Millis, someone stole the plaque for the award and replaced it with human feces with the word "A Cleveland Steamer for Kelly," written on a note.

Suspected robber gets stuck in air shaft

A suspected thief trying to help himself to convenience store goods instead wound up crying for help after becoming stuck in an air shaft for 10 hours.

Antonio Davis, 25, was rescued Tuesday. He removed an air conditioning cover at a CVS store Monday night and tried to enter the store via the shaft but became trapped, Braddock County Sheriff's Capt. James Pogue said. He began calling for help about 8 a.m. Tuesday. "I hurd a kat in da thang. I wuz trying to sabe dat cat," Davis told The Braddock Times. He denied attempting to steal prescription drugs."No, sir, it a furey kat — a litel anima."

It took firefighters an hour and a half to rescue Davis, but he suffered only minor cuts and was in stable condition, according to Fire Rescue spokeswoman Heather Danenhower. Antonio Davis has been charged with commercial burglary, possession of burglary tools and felony criminal mischief, Pogue said.

Online records with the Texas Department of Corrections indicate Davis has several previous convictions in Texas and North Carolina for burglary and drug-related crimes. He was convicted in Braddock, TX for possession of the prescription painkiller Oxycontin, according to a Braddock County Sheriff's Office report. After the verdict was read, Davis was immediately pardoned by Justice William J. Jennings for lack of evidence. Davis was also arrested earlier this month on an arson charge. Jennings was quoted as saying "there doesn't appear to be any evidence linking 'Da Crunk', a fineupstanding citizen, to this outrageous charge."

Friends claim Judge Jennings' trial was "a sham."

Jennings Trial a sham, the Turd claims

Judge William J. Jennings walked into federal court in November, swore on a Bible to tell the truth and pleaded not-guilty to 50 counts of extortion, solicitation, fraud, bigamy, molestation, illegal drugs, perjury, bribery, and conspiracy.

Behind the scenes, his 'family,' the professional wrestling stable known as Frustrated Inc., say the charges are a sham and prosecutors want Jennings, Chief Justice of the 5thDistrict US Court, to admit to crimes he didn't commit.

In e-mail messages to "Destroy America--Elect Hillary Now" employees, two of Jennings' associates say federal prosecutors threatened to prosecute Jennings' cat and his seventeen year-old mistress, and to force him to sell his non-profit group, "Frustrated Inc." The e-mail messages, recently obtained by The Braddock Times, say the witnesses who testified against Jennings at his October trial were also pressured to lie. And Jennings, who declined to testify in his own defense, wrote to friends in a holiday letter that he has not been allowed to tell his side of the story, even though he has had plenty of opportunity to do so.

Jennings' associates wrote that the only time Jennings' lied was the moment he confessed immediately after being caught red-handed with stolen money, cocaine, and prostitutes in his living room.

Prosecutors said Judge Jennings, who was appointed by President Clinton in 1993, took tens of thousands in illegal cash, drugs, and sex from defendants seeking 'not guilty' rulings. Just prior to the expected "guilty"verdicts, the Judge received a last minute pardon from Nancy Pelosi. "He's innocent, absolutely," Jonathan Paynter, who wrestles as The Liberal Librarian, said. "The trial was stacked against him. They had a will to condemn."

Paynter said the witnesses who testified against Jennings -- including a priest, sexual abuse victims, police officers, and his own mother --lied because they support George Bush. Paynter said Jennings' only crime was loving teenage girls and hating George Bush too much.

Braddock wrestler arrested for robbery

BRADDOCK, TX - A Braddock man was arrested Monday in connection with the robbery of a man in July.

Letravis Gorman, 39, of Brown View Apts was arrested by Braddock County deputies for allegedly robbing Delbert Johnson of $500 at knifepoint on July 2, according to warrants filed at the Braddock County Magistrate's office.

Gorman faces charges of robbery with a dangerous weapon, assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury and possession of a fire arm by a felon.

He is being held on a $5 bond at the Braddock County jail in Braddock.

More strange decisions at BCPL

DVD thefts lead to more "questionable" policies

Russell Lorrie, staff reporter

Braddock, TX

Only weeks after instituting a search policy for customers, BCPL has added a new level of security. Customers who browse the Media Arts section and leave the section with DVDs will now be required to show library security the DVDs and their library card. Library security guards will be posted outside the Media Arts section to enforce the policy.

Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell takes credit for this latest change in policy. "I feel that this will help us catch the person who is taking our DVDs."

Director Kelly Millis believes that the person taking the DVDs is "not checking them out, nor do they have a library card, so if they don't have a library card issued to them there is no way for them to get the DVDs out of the room. I just want to applaud Inez for being so on top of things and realizing that this policy is a fool-proof way to catch the thief.

An anonymous employee of BCPL begs to differ, however. "This is just another stupid idea by Mitchell and Millis. I swear, I'm out of this place as soon as I can find another job. Those two are the biggest buffoons I've ever seen. They think that this is actually going to solve the problem? They're fools. They've locked the bathrooms, they've searched customers, now they're making people show their library cards? Well, I mean how hard is it to just present a library card? I mean, just because they show the card doesn't mean they will check the DVD out and if they don't have one, it's pretty easy to get one. They could just steal one for that matter. If they had any brains they would make people check the DVDs out in Media Arts. I swear, these people are ignorant of how real libraries run."

When asked his views of the policy, The Liberal Librarian stated that "Millis and Mitchell are Nazis at heart. They need to start searching the staff, too, because they have the easiest access to steal materials. All you have to do is walk out the employee exit- that's what the DVD thief is doing."

Mitchell and Millis were both dumbfounded when confronted with these employees comments. They demanded to know who the anonymous employee was so they could discipline the person. They are unable to discipline The Liberal Librarian because he is not an actual employee of BCPL, he is here on a research fellowship.

In other BCPL news, after once again being embarrassed by nearby Solie Public Library at TLA, Millis and Mitchell have announced an initiative to finally win an award. Despite having a small staff and budget, Solie continually wins prestigious awards given out by TLA while BCPL despite it's large budget and large staff never seems to be recognized by the library community. A former employee of BCPL, Aaron Whitaker who now works at Solie as the Manager of Collection Development says "it's quite simple. BCPL never wins anything because the people that work there suck. They can't get jobs anywhere else and BCPL can't hold on to any of their good employees. The supervisors are incompetent, the long-time employees are weird and never get promoted. There are a couple in General Research Services that have been there for years and can't move up to save their souls. Not that they should be because they are idiots. Solie wins because we actually work and have actual meaningful jobs. The local library schools and TLA trash BCPL and tell their students and members not to apply there because they have such a bad reputation. And if you are foolish enough to do so, you go down like the Hindenburg. Any good employee gets passed over for promotions for goofs who don't even have to be interviewed and then they leave and go on to make a name for themselves. Just ask the 13 people since 2005 to leave GRS, they're all doing better since leaving. " Mitchell said that Whitaker is just mad because he no longer works at BCPL, though she is legally not at liberty to say why Whitaker resigned. Millis gave a terse, jaw clenching "no comment" when asked about Whitaker's comments.

Restaurant cited for deer carcass in kitchen

Restaurant cited for deer carcass in kitchen

Saturday, October 27, 2007

By Russell Lorrie, Staff Writer

An Incovenient Cafe and GLBT Lingerie Bar was packed with customers Friday evening, just hours after the Board of Health allowed the restaurant to reopen after inspectors closed the restaurant down when they found a deer carcass in the kitchen. This is the second time the Board of Health has closed An Inconvenient Cafe in three months.

Braddock County health inspectors cited the restaurant at 1360 Analesion Rd. for bringing a deer into the kitchen and butchering it, using food obtained from an unapproved source, not protecting the food in the kitchen from contamination, allowing the employees to handle the deer and allowing business to continue in the presence of a "gross unsanitary occurrence and condition," according to the inspection report.

Jonathan Oliver Blair III, a manager and member of the "family" that owns An Inconvenient Cafe, said the employees who were responsible for bringing the deer into the restaurant have been disciplined and that the kitchen has been thoroughly cleaned since the carcass was removed. He denied that the employees butchered the deer in the restaurant.

Inspectors said they showed up at An Inconvenient Cafe Wednesday afternoon after they received a complaint about the carcass, said Environmental Health Specialist Darrell Brackney. Blair said the complaint came from an electrician who happened to be in the kitchen at the time.
When they arrived, they found "a few mentally impaired" people, presumably employees, standing around a gutted, headless, skinned deer carcass that was lying on the floor, Brackney said.

Blair said Department of Natural Resources officers who were friends with one of the employees brought the deer, which had been hit and killed by a car, to the restaurant at the request of the employee. That employee and another then carried the deer into the kitchen.

At no point did employees intend to serve venison from the carcass to customers, Brackney said. The employee was, however, butchering the animal on the floor and large pieces of meat had been cut from the carcass, said Brackney and Board of Health Administrator Beth Glaze, both of whom took part in the inspection.

"That is a lie," Blair said of the health department's assertion that employees were butchering the deer.

He said he was not in the restaurant Wednesday, and maintained that the employee was just storing it until he could bring it home..

Brackney said they shut down An Inconvenient Cafe on the spot because it was an "imminent threat to public health."

This was the only restaurant closing in Braddock County that Glaze has seen in her nine years at the Board of Health, she said.

It remained closed for the rest of the day Wednesday and all of Thursday before reopening Friday afternoon.

Health inspectors talked with the owners of the restaurant and made them throw out all food that was in the kitchen when the deer was brought in. They also reinspected the facility before allowing it to reopen.

As a result of the health code violation, An Inconvenient Cafe will be on probation for six months, during which time health inspectors will visit the kitchen once a week to make sure it is staying within health code. The owners also face a fine for the infraction, though the amount has not yet been determined, Glaze said.

In response to the violation, owners fired the two employees who brought the deer into the kitchen and are reviewing security camera tape from the kitchen to determine whether Tony Fanuci be fired as well, Blair said.

Both men were waiters and were not responsible for preparing food, he added.

Douglas S. Ehman, a Public Health Coordinator for the county who took part in the follow-up inspection, said he is confident that the restaurant is safe to eat at and that there are no particular precautions that anyone who dined there Wednesday needs to take.

Despite this, Glaze said she would have reservations about taking her family there to eat.
"They would have to gain my trust again because they've lost my trust," she said.

Diners walking into and out of Friday evening seemed to take the restaurant's closure in stride.
BCPL employees Kelly Millis and Noah Retro, who were about to enter An Inconvenient Cafe, said they were unaware of the restaurant's health code violations, but they shrugged off the news and decided to eat there anyway. Millis said "they're the only place in town that serves cock, or as some folks call it chicken, the way I like it."

Man defecates in the middle of McDonalds

Man defecates in the middle of McDonalds

November 2, 2007

The Braddock Times Staff Reports

Braddock, TX. Patrons of a Ewing Blvd McDonald's were left grimacing Thursday morning after a man, who appeared to be homeless, defecated in the middle of the restaurant.

Around 5 a.m., the disheveled man dressed in a "Turd" costume walked in to the 24-hour McDonald's at 10 E. Braddock — near the Public Library — and tried to enter the restroom. It was out of order, so the man walked toward the soda fountain machine and defecated on the floor, said witness William Jennings, who was eating a sausage McMuffin at the time.

"He just said 'I have to go to the bathroom' and that is when he did it in front of the entire crew," said Jennings, a 57-year-old jurist. "He took a napkin and cleaned it up and placed it on the counter where anyone can put your food and get your condiments."

Workers threatened to call the deputies, so the man left, Jennings said. There were just a handful of customers in the restaurant at the time. A manager at the store confirmed the incident — as did a spokeswoman at the chain's corporate offices — and insisted that everything was cleaned up. A wet-floor "caution" sign was still out hours later when a reporter showed up. And when the reporter began asking questions, a worker began to mop the spot.

The incident didn't make for the happiest of meals for Jennings, but it didn't spoil his appetite either. He said he finished his sausage McMuffin before leaving.

Man Found in BCPL Children's Bathroom With Blow-Up Doll

Man found in public bathroom with blow-up doll gets arrested

October 27, 2007
Braddock, TX. A Braddock County man was arrested Wednesday afternoon after Sheriff's deputies said he was found in a compromising position with an inflatable doll in a public restroom.

At 12:47 p.m., Jonathan Oliver Blair, III, 42, Brownview Apartments, was found lying on the floor in the Children's bathroom inside the Braddock County Public Library, 100 Kemellia Ave. by a Braddock county Sheriff's Deputy, according to the official complaint filed against him.

According to the criminal complaint, Blair, who was wearing a "turd costume" had the lower portion of the costume around his ankles. He was "lying next to an anatomically correct male inflatable doll."

Paraprofessional Librarian, Chad Folsum who heard an odd noise which he described sounding like "the mass-raping of squirrels" contacted a deputy who had just arrived after delivering paperwork on another incident involving Blair. Deputy David Hoagland, who found Blair in the Children's bathroom, could not comment on the incident.

Blair remained in the Braddock County Jail Thursday afternoon on a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure. Folsum was suspended for a month without pay by Library Director Kelly Millis for failing to obtain permission from Millis to talk to the deputy. On a side note, Kelly Millis was not at the library at the time of the incident.

Asked whether Blair was banned from the library, Millis responded "Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. It is up to Judge Jennings whether this fine gentleman, Mr. Blair, is banned."

A hearing on the case and whether Blair will be banned from Braddock County Public Library is scheduled for tomorrow at 8:00 am. Presiding will be Judge William J. Jennings.

Excrement to Hillary's Rescue

Braddock, TX (The Braddock Times) - Its full title is 'A sanctuary where one can solve one's fecal fouls' but the reality is more basic - it's a house shaped like a toilet.

The large-scale toliet under construction in Braddock, Texas is opening to the public next month.

But visitors will have to be pretty flush to use this convenience.

It's being offered as a fun place to stay at a whopping $50,000 a night.

The cash will go to the Hillary Clinton campaign, whose mission is to bring crap to poor people by stealing the American middle class's shit.

"About 99 per cent of the world's population live in squalor. I thought about ways to help them and decided to help Hillary Clinton. This house is a symbol of the excrement that is Hillary Clinton," says Jonathan Oliver Blair, III, Chairman of the Liberal Librarian fan club. Blair, who wrestles as The Turd, went on to explain that calling someone excrement is the greatest compliment he can give.

What's normally referred to as the smallest room in this case will feature four deluxe rest rooms.

"By electing Hillary, global sanitation troubles will receive a much needed Cleveland Steamer" says Blair.

BCPL Hires New Maintenance Employees

Braddock County Public Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell announced today the hiring of a new Supervisor of Maintenace and three new maintenance employees.

"We are pleased to announce the hiring of the Rev. Dr. Bishop Curtis Eldorado Lowe to be our new Supervisor of Maintenance. I have decided to replace our existing, underperforming maintenance staff. The previous staff had too much fun on the job and liked to communicate with the library staff, heaven knows why the staff wanted to communicate with them."

In addition to Lowe, Mitchell has hired Jerome "Snuffy" Cox, Shitifa Moore, and Shamookey Sanders, son of Braddock County Councilwoman T. Diana Belle-Little (and disputed son of Lowe).

Lowe said that he is happy to be employed at the library. "Me and my monkey, Mud and de rest of deese foos is gwine clean dis place up good, I sho is. I gotz me a gubmint job now. I werk at de liberry so, I is a liberrian, right?"

BCPL Institutes New "Searching" Policy

Visitors to the Braddock County Public Library will now be required to submit to mandatory bag searches upon exit of the facility. Director Kelly Millis and Library Operations Manager Inez Mitchell instituted a new search and seizure policy to combat a recent spate of DVD thefts.

"It's imperative that we crack down on theft in the library," Mitchell said. "We have tried many types of enforcement in the past with little to no success. I believe now, by searching customers, we will be able to crack down on this."

One customer we spoke with was enraged at the "Draconian invasion of privacy," and the humiliation of being searched like some common criminal." Sarah Williams Scott, cousin of Ewing Oil owner J.R. Ewing and Daughter's of the Alamo Regent, said this was the latest in a series of misteps by library administration since the hiring of Mitchell to head up the Research Services Division. "She came in with a Nazi attitude of eradicating fun in the workplace and is responsible for running off several talented employees and replacing them with dare I say, incompetent buffoons. Now she is attacking patrons of the library with more Gestapo tactics."

Mitchell brushed aside these comments from one of Braddock's most respected citizens by saying, "she's entitled to her opinion and I'm entitled to mine. No one is forcing her to use this facility. As for the employees that have left during my tenure, I am not at liberty to discuss personnel matters, but our staff is much more productive since they left and are definitely not having any fun at work, I can assure you of that."

Kelly Millis, the often unseen Library Director, told us that Mitchell has free reign in day-to-day operations of the Library. "I am typically unavailable to deal with such issues as I have to meet with council members and whatnot. I think Inez is doing a fabulous job. At least we don't have employees humiliating me on the Internet anymore. They may still be humiliating me on the Internet, but they are employed elsewhere making more money and have more responsibility, and not in my hair."

An unnamed source familiar with the situation said that the new policy is a joke and is doomed to failure. "That place is a dump and it is run by a bunch of clowns that couldn't get a job anywhere else. I have never seen such incompetence in my life. Every one of those buffoons at that joint are either clinically depressed, on medication for it, or are suicidal. Then you have this old broad that looks like a witch and used to be an old hippie stripper, don't even get me started on that dumb broad. Everybody in that library hates her guts and she has been passed over for promotion more times than her kids have passed a joint. But anyway, this policy ranks right up there with the time those idiots instituted "a locking the bathroom doors policy at lunch" so people couldn't go in them to steal DVDs. Nevermind the fact that people have to use the bathroom or there may be medical and legal issues. That policy lasted about a week after someone flashed it all over MySpace. Newsflash, if you are so concerned with them stealing the DVDs, how about just getting rid of them. There's no law that says a library has to be a video store." The source then went on to say, "of course, when you have a library that can't keep their online catalog up for twelve hours straight without it going down, you see how hard it is for them. I guess making a secretary the Library Information Systems Director wasn't that wise of an idea. But hey, any monkey can work at BCPL, just look at that new janitor they just hired."

Braddock County man faces jail time for swearing at toilet

A Braddock County man could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300 for allegedly shouting profanities at an overflowing toilet while inside the Braddock County Library.

Jonthan Oliver Blair III (who wrestles for the Braddock based WNWA), whose potty mouth caught the attention of an off-duty police officer, was charged with disorderly conduct recently, prompting him to fire off a letter to the editor of The Braddock Times and vow to fight the charge.

"It doesn't make any sense. I was in the library's bathroom, smoking pot while I took a shit. It's not like I was outside or that drunk," said Blair, who resides at the Brown St. apartments along with his roommate Tony Fanuci. "A cop can charge you with disorderly conduct for disrespecting them?"

The obscenities hit the fan when he battled the overflowing toilet around 8 p.m. Thursday, he said.

Although Blair doesn't recall exactly what he said, he admitted that he was frustrated and let more than a few choice words fly. Unfortunately, it was near an open bathroom window.

"The toilet was overflowing and my friends were leaking down into the children's room and I was yelling for Fanuci to get the bucket," he said. "A guy is yelling, 'Shut the f--- up,' and I yelled back, 'Mind your own f---in business, you g--dd---n c---k s----ker!' "

Patrick Gilman, a Braddock County Sheriff's Deputy who was off-duty at the time, apparently had enough of Blair's foul mouth and asked him to keep it down. When Mr. Blair didn't stop, he called the Sheriff.

Sheriff's Deputy Gerald Tallo responded and charged Blair with disorderly conduct.
The citation accuses the defendant of using obscene language or gestures "with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm or recklessly (creating) a risk ..."

"There was no intent to do anything," Blair said. "I just feel so violated and irritated ... I don't even have a criminal record." Actually, Blair has been charged with over 30 misdemeanors and felonies this summer alone, only to have all the charges dismissed by Judge William J. Jennings.

Efforts to reach Deputies Gilman and Tallo were unsuccessful.

Braddock County Public Library Director Kelly Millis said if anyone feels they were unjustly accused, they can address it before Judge Jennings.

"At the end of the day, the opinion that counts is of Judge Jennings," he said. "It may be something open to interpretation. The officer has his own and this person had the opposite opinion."

The use of obscene language or gestures is an offense under the state criminal code. But cursing at a police officer isn't a punishable offense, said Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union based in Philadelphia.

"It cannot be the basis for a citation. You can't prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet," she said. "We bring one of these cases a year and sue some police departments because they do not remember that they are not the language police."

Women May Sue Federal Judge in Sex Case

Lawyers for Judge William J. Jennings May Try to Settle Expected Lawsuits
Oct. 16, 2007—
A number of young women who say they went to the Braddock County, Tx., mansion of Judge William J. Jennings, the multimillionaire Federal District Judge charged with soliciting prostitutes, are threatening to file civil lawsuits against Jennings, sources familiar with the case told The Braddock Times.

Jennings' lawyers may try to settle with all the women at once, a person familiar with the negotiations confirmed to KSUX-TV. The story was first reported by The Braddock Times.

Judge Jennings is said to be in negotiations with a pardon deal from Hillary Clinton when she becomes President. He was charged last week with one count of solicitation of prostitution, a felony that carries up to five years in prison, for allegedly paying underage girls to give him erotic massages. He has pleaded not guilty and has said he didn't know any of the girls were underage. Insiders say this charge is likely to be dropped and handed over to Federal prosecutors.

Lead attorney Gerald Lefcourt, the former president of the ACLU, did not return a call for comment Monday. He has previously declined to comment on the case.

Guy Fronstin, another of Jennings' lawyers, declined to comment.

It was not immediately clear how many women had contacted Jennings' attorneys, threatening to sue, but people familiar with the case said it was more than the five alleged victims described in police documents. A source told KSUX-TV News that most of the women who had threatened to sue were over 18.

An unnamed source, a Braddock County Bishop told the Times, "Yoo a gerl hoo be broak and uzez drugs, heer' yo' shot at gettin' sum muny," (mispelling used to convey vernacular).

A Braddock County Sheriff's report alleges that Jennings paid girls as young as 14 to give him massages, usually in their underwear. The report claims that Jennings had sexual contact with some of the girls.

Jennings has assembled a team of top lawyers to fight the criminal charges. His attorneys include Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz and Kenneth Starr, who investigated Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

Jennings' pardon negotiations are ongoing, and his lawyers, spokesman and the local prosecutor's office declined to comment on them. But there's one possible sticking point two sources told KSUX-TV News that federal prosecutors, who are expected to drop their investigation of Jennings if he is pardoned, still want him to register as a sex offender.

No federal charges have been filed, insiders say that Hillary Clinton "promises" to file charges after she is sworn in as Premier in January 2009.

BCPL expands

Changes are coming soon to the Braddock County Public Library, even though it was just completed 15 years ago.

“We’ve been discussing an addition since before the building was finished,” Library Director Kelly Millis said. “When the library was built in 1992, the projected life for comfort was 15 years, but we’re bursting at the seams!!”

The library currently has 85,000 square feet of space. The proposed addition is 19,000 square feet.

“The expansion would add onto the north side and would include readjusting our adult reading space, children’s section and eliminating the area for teenagers so we can add more computers for our Public Computing Center,” Millis said. “One of our most common requests is for more quiet space, but we don't intend to add that.”

County board member T. Diana Belle-Little, who is the board’s liaison to the library board, said the expansion is being planned to completely blend in.

“We had considered a satellite library in North Braddock or other options, but this is the most fiscally responsible option and will look really nice once it’s done,” Belle-Little said.

One new feature planned will be drive-through window service for book drops as well as a pickup location for holds, reserves and call-ahead requests for materials.

“This will be really convenient for parents with young children, the elderly, disabled people and during bad weather,” Millis said.

The library board had considered expanding an option for years and Millis has been careful to be frugal with funds (especially for staff, though he makes 96,000 per year). As a result, the library is going to be able to pay up front for the expansion without requesting additional funds from taxpayers.

“I think this is a great advantage for our citizens,” Millis said. “Right now, though, we’re in the very early stages of planning and we’re just starting to talk to the County about this.”

If all goes smoothly, Millis hopes construction will begin soon. It was originally supposed to begin in 2006, but has yet to begin. He now hopes the construction will begin at some point this winter. “That’s very tentative at this point, though,” Millis said.

To learn more about the library expansion and renovation project, contact Library Director Kelly Millis by calling 1-972-883-3694 or by e-mail kelly.millis@braddocktx.gov.

Statement from Da Crunk on losing the Texas Tag Team Title

Antonio "Da Crunk" Davis has released the following, odd statement concerning the loss of the Texas Tag Team Championship:

Sup. I am the Smiley Thug. I am the Smiley that represents the lowdown and dirty of myspace. I like fine honeys and strong soldiers. If this fits you add me as a friend.

Hello, I thought I would give an official close to our former great conversations. It left kinda a bad taste in my mouth the way it ended. With that I mean, you figuring out who I was and then the "death" of your friend. I guess we all have to reach a point where we decide what is and isn't right for ourselves. (I'm not stupid) All or nothing, if you know what I mean. Anyway, for what its worth I did enjoy our chats when we had them. I would also wager that I probably reached deeper and know you better than most do or even dare try to. With that said, if you ever need someone to listen to you or give you an honest opinion I'm still very much here for that. Until then, I wish you the best. PEACE

Man Accused of Trying to Flee Deputies on Shopping Cart

BRADDOCK, Texas - A man accused of drunk driving tried to outrun the deputies, but his vehicle wasn't up to the task.

Antonio Davis of East Braddock, was driving a motorized shopping cart near his home when a Braddock County sheriff's deputy attempted to pull him over.

Davis, 25, allegedly sped away down Kemellia Ave. facing oncoming traffic. Deputy J.H. Jenkins stopped his cruiser and gave chase on foot, according to magistrate court records.

Jenkins caught up to the shopping cart after a short chase but Davis allegedly wouldn't stop so the deputy pulled him off the device.

Davis refused to take a field sobriety test and was arrested. Jenkins then found a case of Old English 40 oz beers in a cooler (one of them open) strapped to the shopping cart's front. These appeared to have been shoplifted, but no charges were filed since this could not be proven.

Davis was charged with fleeing while driving under the influence and obstructing an officer. He was being held Tuesday at the Braddock County Jail.

5th District Court Judge William J. Jennings, who will hear the case tomorrow, said he would likely throw out all charges on a technicality. "When the pig... I mean the deputy was chasing Mr. Davis down Kemellia Ave, the deputy did not have a flashing siren on his hat."

BCPL Director Kelly Millis: "I Am Not Gay!"

Braddock — Denying that he did anything wrong and stating emphatically that "I am not gay," Braddock County Public Library Director Kelly Millis asked the people of Braddock on Tuesday to forgive him for being arrested last week in a police sting in a men's room at the Austin Convention Center at the annual Texas Library Association conference.

Millis, who was taken into custody on September 21 by a plainclothes officer investigating reports of lewd conduct in the restroom, said he pleaded guilty to a disorderly conduct charge in an effort to suppress a story — pursued by the Braddock Times — that he has secretly engaged in gay trysts.

Millis said the story has been following him for years thanks to thirteen disgruntled ex-employees.

"For eight months leading up to September 21st my family and I had been relentlessly and viciously harassed by The Braddock Times. If you saw the article today, you know why. Let me be clear: I am not gay. I never have been gay," Millis said in a news conference in his hometown of Braddock.

"Still, without a shred of truth or evidence to the contrary, the Times has engaged in this witch hunt at the behest of several vicious individuals. In pleading guilty, I overreacted in Austin because of the stress the Times investigation and the rumors it has fuelled all around North Central Texas. Again, that overreaction was a mistake and I apologize for my judgment," Millis said.

Meanwhile, back in Braddock, County Council members announced they will launch an ethics review of the director.

"This is a serious matter. Due to the reported and disputed circumstances, and the legal resolution of this serious case, we will recommend that Millis's incident be reported to the State Ethics Committee for its review. In the meantime, leadership is examining other aspects of the case to determine if additional action is required," council member T. Diana Belle-Little said in a statement on behalf of the council.

Millis was arrested on September 21 by a plainclothes officer. The police report from Sgt. Dale King, who made the arrest after an encounter in which he was seated in a stall next to a stall occupied by Millis, described Millis tapping his foot and blocking the stall door with his roller luggage. King said he recognized the actions "as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."

Millis plead guilty in an Austin court earlier this week. He claims he is innocent of anything untoward, saying that he simply has a "wide stance when urinating," but he should have consulted a lawyer rather than trying to brush the incident under the rug. He paid a $575 fine and was given a stay on a 10-day prison sentence barring no further violations during one year of unsupervised probation.

Millis said Tuesday that he is now reviewing his actions with an attorney to see if he can reverse the damages.

"I did not seek any counsel either from an attorney, staff, friends or family. That was a mistake and I deeply regret it. Because of that, I have now retained counsel, and I am asking counsel to review this matter and to advise me on how to proceed," he said.

Millis has been debating whether to prolong his 33-year career as a Braddock County employee, or resign in shame and disgrace, ironically in the same position many of his employees have found themselves in.

"Next month, I will announce, as planned, as many of you have already been told, whether or not I will seek to remain in my position. As library director, I fully realize that my life is open for public criticism and scrutiny, and I take full responsibility for a lapse in judgment I made in attempting to handle this matter myself," he said.

"I am not gay. I love my wife, my family. I care about friends and staff and BCPL. I love serving this great county. Over the years, I have accomplished a lot for Braddock, and I hope Braddock County will allow me to continue to do that," he said.

Both friends and opponents are closely watching the latest events unfold. Political science instructor Jason Martinez told The Braddock Times that if the allegation of Millis trying to initiate a gay sex tryst in the bathroom is true then he is "about done politically."

BCPL employee Michael Beckwith said Millis "has done a lot of good for Braddock." He said the rumors about sexual indiscretions have gone on for years but he never thought any of the claims had much significance, and it was part of the hardball tactics used against those in public service.

Allegations that Millis is a closet homosexual have dogged him since his school days in the 1960s, according to close personal friend Noah Retro.

During Millis's tenure at BCPL in the early 1980s, when county employees stood accused of abusing interns, Millis took the unusual step of issuing a pre-emptive denial of involvement.

The paper said it had received allegations in May from a man who said he and Millis engaged in sex at a men's bathroom in An Inconvenient Cafe in Braddock. Another man claimed Millis eyed him up during a half-hour cat and mouse chase in a Braddock store in 2004. One former BCPL employee said, "just look at the guy. It's obvious he's a queen. I mean, hell, he makes Christopher Lowell look like John Wayne. He did paint the walls of BCPL purple after all. Plus, he hangs out at the gay bar all the time, especially at lunch."

Millis, with his hand on his hip, called the charges scurrilous.

"I've been in this business 33 years in the public eye here. I don't go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Braddock, TX! Jiminy!" he told the newspaper.

Alleged Drunken Driver Crashes Into Braddock Drive-Thru

Thursday, September 27, 2007
Alleged drunken driver crashes into Braddock drive-thru

By Graham Niles
The Braddock Times

The employees working the drive-thru at the McDonald's on Ewing Street deserve a break today after an allegedly heavily intoxicated man drove into a cement barrier leading to the pickup window on Tuesday only to return Wednesday to hand the clerk a $5 bill with vomit on it.

Deputies were called on Tuesday by a clerk who indicated Oliver Jonathan Blair III, 43, of Brownview Apartments, had struck a yellow cement barrier that separates the window from the building with a 2001 chocolate brown Ford F-150 pick-up truck leaving a yellow mark in the front of the truck but he was gone by the time deputies arrived on scene. On Wednesday at about 1 p.m. deputies received a call that Blair had returned and handed the clerk a $5 bill covered in vomit, Braddock Sheriff Fenton Washburn said. Blair was visibly intoxicated when deputies arrived Wednesday and was having difficulty walking and talking, Washburn said. Washburn said eight beer cans fell out of the driver's side door when Blair stepped out and police found empty 12-packs and many more beer cans inside the vehicle.

"The inside of the car was covered in filth," Washburn said, adding that — in addition to beer cans — human feces and vomit were found in the vehicle. Washburn said it appears that Blair was using his vehicle as a restroom. Blair gave police an address of 420 Kemellia Avenue, the address of the Braddock County Public Library. Blair was arrested on a charge of driving while intoxicated, his second offense. "He did pay for his food," Washburn said.

Despite the fact that Blair has had many run-ins with the law, he was immediately released by Federal District Judge William J. Jennings, who argued that McDonald's was at fault because the signage around the drive-thru was obscured by nearby bushes and not readily visible.

Braddock man charged in sex-chat case

Friend scuffles with 4 agents, injuring 3. Is cited for resisting arrest.

By JANE KELLER, Staff Braddock Times

BRADDOCK COUNTY, Tx. - When deputies showed up at a Braddock apartment Thursday to arrest a man and confiscate his computer, the suspect's mentally retarded friend bolted for the bedroom. Tony Fanuci, 41, of 334C Brown Rd. in Brown View Apartments, was quietly taken into custody by agents from the state Attorney General's Office for allegedly having sexually explicit Internet conversations with what he believed were young teenage girls. But his 29-year-old house mate, David Downs, who weighs about 300 pounds, ran upstairs to the bedroom and used his body to barricade himself behind the door, prosecutors said.

Agents for the attorney general repeatedly asked Downs to open the bedroom door so they could confiscate the computer. When he didn't, according to the affidavit, three state agents "forcibly entered the door by shattering the door into pieces."As they entered the bedroom, according to documents, Agent Robert Sloop grabbed Down's wrist, and the suspect "became physically combative," refusing to be handcuffed and yelling and shaking uncontrollably. The struggle continued, according to the affidavit, with Downs "lying on the ground on top of his hands, struggling and refusing to place his hands in a position for handcuffing, which caused the physical strength of four agents ... to get the defendant into custody." As a result of the struggle, according to the affidavit, three of the four agents, including Sloop and Henry Borck, sustained arm scratches, while Kevin Stith injured his wrist. Downs was taken into custody on charges of resisting arrest and obstruction of justice. Fanuci was charged with four counts of unlawful contact with a minor and one count of criminal use of a communication facility — using a computer to have sexually explicit conversations with what he believed were young girls. Both men were arraigned before District Judge William J. Jennings and released on their own recognizance. Prosecutors said the investigation is continuing, pending examination of the computers by the Attorney General's Office. Jennings was overheard asking the district attorney "what's the big deal here?"

Fanuci had been under investigation for several months by the office's Child Predator Unit. According to the arrest warrant affidavits, he had been conversing on the Internet for months with what he believed were 13- or 14-year-old girls. He sent them pictures of men's genitalia and explained to them how to perform a variety of sex acts. He asked them if they had a boyfriend or if they thought he was too old to "chat" with on the computer. In reality, Fanuci had been conversing with agents of the state Attorney General, who were posing as young girls. Although Fanuci had no physical contact with anyone, prosecutors said the conversations and pictures were enough to support criminal charges. The charges coincide with each of the four dates — in March, May, July and August — that Fanuci allegedly sent the pictures, according to court documents. Using three different screen names ("FatBoy66," "Manservant4321," and Lovemuffin469") agents said, Fanuci allegedly had contact with four different "girls," all of whom identified themselves as 13 or 14 years old. He sent a picture of a male, dressed in jeans and a shirt, according to documents, but said he had another picture, warning the girls that it was "naughty." The conversations took place at various times of day, some as early as 9:30 a.m. and the latest around 6:30 p.m. Each time, the conversations would turn to sexual topics and questions about the girl's sexual experience and his explicit explanatory replies, telling them, "I have done everything you can with a girl." Fanuci, according to court documents, identified himself once as a 20-year-old male from near Strasburg, PA, and another time as his actual age of 41."Is that too old to chat," he asked, according to documents. During one conversation with what he believed was a 14-year-old, according to the affidavit, Fanuci asked, "Am I too old to chat with?" and then did the math for the teenager, noting "'cuz I am 15 years older."

The Attorney General's Office said Braddock County Sheriff's deputies assisted in serving the warrants and making the arrests Thursday. In announcing the arrests today, the attorney general noted that his agents have arrested more than 93 suspected predators since 2005. "The Internet is a wonderful tool for information and communication, but it has also become a popular stalking ground for predators searching for young victims — either sexually propositioning children or sending explicit photos or videos," noting that many of these incidents originate in public libraries. "It is essential that parents talk to their children about online hazards, and report any predator who sexually solicits children or who sends them sexually graphic material."Internet predators can be reported to the Attorney General's Office by logging onto the Web or calling 1-800-555-1469. He also encouraged parents, teachers and other concerned adults to review Internet safety tips in the "Operation Safe Surf," section of the Web site and for children, in the "Just 4 Kids" section.

Former BCPL Employee Zapped With Taser Caught on Tape

Former Librarian Who Questioned John Perry (T.M.I.) To Be In Court

Braddock, Tex. -- A former librarian at Braddock County Public Library man was Tasered and detained by library security after trying to ask Braddock Mayoral candidate John Perry, (D) about the election and other subjects during a Braddock County Public Library forum. Videos of the incident posted on several Web sites show officers pulling Aaron Whitaker, away from the microphone after he asks Perry about impeaching BCPL Library Director Kelly Millis and whether he and Millis were both members of the secret society Skull and Bones at Central University of North Texas and whether or not they have had sexual relations in the bathroom at An Inconvenient Cafe, where both men are members.

"He apparently asked several questions -- he went on for quite awhile-- then he was asked to stop," Braddock Library Assistant Director Inez Mitchell said. "He had used his allotted time. His microphone was cut off, then he became upset." As two officers take Whitaker by the arms, Perry is heard to say, "That's alright, let me answer his question." Audience members applaud, and Whitaker struggles to escape for several seconds as up to four officers try to remove him from the room. Whitaker screams for help and asks "What did I do?" as he tries to break away from officers. Kelly Millis is heard to say, "You insulted me you son of a bitch, now you are gonna pay!" He is forced to the ground and officers order him to stop resisting. Whitaker says he will walk out if the security officers let him go. As Perry tells the audience he will answer the man's "very important question," Whitaker struggles on the ground and yells at the officers to release him, crying out, "Don't Tase me, asshole, tase that fucking faggot director and that bitch Mitchell" justbefore he is Tasered. He is then led from the room, screaming, "What did I do?" Whitaker, who is a politcal consultant for Braddock Sheriff Fenton Washburn, has hired Attorney Daniel O. Agbor and plans to sue Millis, Mitchell and Braddock County. Whitaker claims he will take the library over and turn it into an Amish-themed restaurant, museum and hotel.

Sheriff Fenton Washburn said Braddock Sheriff's Deputies would conduct an investigation into the use of force employed by BCPL. "The Sheriff's department does have a standard procedure for when they use force, including when they use a Taser, and we will hold the BCPL security personnel to the same standard" Washburn said. "That is what the investigation would address -- whether the proper procedures were followed, whether the officers acted appropriately...and whether Millis and Mitchell overstepped their bounds"

Ill Gotten Gains results

In action at Braddock County Coliseum today:

WNWA Ill Gotten Gains


Three Stages of Hell for the WNWA World Heavyweight Championship- Stage 1: Texas Bullrope Match. Stage 2: Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) Match. Stage 3 (If necessary)- Last Ride Match.

The Liberal Librarian def. Ass Butte (C) to win the championship after winning the first and
third stages with help from Tony Fanuci.

War Games
The Supremacists (Captain Redneck, Dale Taylor, Eustus Fraley and Triple K) def. The Confederate Cripplers (Del Rey Preddy and Kevin Coleman) and The Hill Hoppas (Hampton and Bob-Oh Wheir).

Ladder Match for a World Heavyweight Championship Match at November Nightmare
Chi-Town Chris Collins def. Erich Edwards

WNWA Texas Tag Team Championship
Crummox: The Lummox and Da Crunk def. The Insiders

Grudge Match
Pike and Rabbi Rage def. Lord Shaftsbury and Prince Charming

Real-Life Handicap Match
The Legion of Dum: Tony Fanuci, Letravis Gorman and David Downs def. Claudie Clay and Dusty Jones

Big Medicine Match-Loser goes to Braddock Obesity Clinic.
Obeso def. fATAS

WNWA World Television Championship
Amos Beiler def. The Earl of Hurtford

Samuel Yoder def. Seamus Street

Team Agbor def. Da Brothas and Tyrone Jefferson was arrested for attempted murder on Judge Jennings.