Juan Martinez
The Braddock Times Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The 'Destroy America, Elect Hillary' fund-raiser rocked BCPL's An Inconvenient Cafe Tuesday when the edgy entertainment turned too sexy for Braddock County. The $500-a-plate gala has been known on the do-gooder circuit as one of the season's wildest, one that has featured belly dancers, a Brazilian carnival band and a donkey auction. However, this was not the main attraction. This event featured a naked, super-morbidly obese man named Tony Fanuci.
"It was a faux pas, and we'll learn from it," said event co-Chair Judge William J. Jennings. The jaws of some of the 30 supporters of the Hillary Clinton campaign dropped when a disgusting fat ass ended up nude on the dance floor during what was billed as performance art.
How did that happen? Inspired by a scene in the classic James Bond film Goldfinger, Tony Fanuci was supposed to get painted in gold by a Turd costumed male artist as the soundtrack of the film played. He got painted all right. But after he was wheeled by a forklift into the ballroom on a bed, covered with a sheet, he stood up - revealing nothing but gut. Fanuci wiggled under each stroke of the brush as the artist worked suggestively. "We don't know what happened because I couldn't get a straight answer from the artist," said Sandy Berger, a spokesman for Mrs. Clinton. "It was supposed to be a beautiful piece of performance art, and Fanuci was supposed to be partly painted by the time he came out. There must have been some confusion."
Although some not-so-open-minded patrons walked out, BCPL directoe Kelly Millis said he wasn't offended: "There were three little girls selling raffle tickets who sat there with their mouths agape, but adults should not have been offended. It was very tastefully done."
Hillary Clinton later commented: "We didn't mean to upset anyone. If we did, we regret it."
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