The Three Idiots of Libtown

The members of Frustrated Inc check out their new digs in "Lib Town."

The trio of Tony Fanuci, Kelly "The Fruit" Millis, and Judge Jennings (better known as the 3 Idiots) are ordered to paint the Liberal Librarian's office.

The Turd who is overseeing the job exits into a private office as the 3 Idiots enter from the front door: JUDGE JENNINGS carries a tool box. TONY FANUCI carries a huge gut.

KELLY MILLIS: (In his effete, ghey voice) Looks like there's nobody here, fine sirs.

JUDGE JENNINGS: This is the place all right.

TONY FANUCI: Maybe I got the--
(TONY FANUCI turns to look around and SMASHES the glass of the front door with his gut.)

KELLY MILLIS: You water-head! Why don't you look what you're doing, kind sir?

TONY FANUCI: I couldn't help it. I was lookin' around to see if there's anybody in the office and when I toined--(TONY FANUCI turns and SMASHES a glass water cooler with his gut.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: Look what you did! You ass fuck!!

TONY FANUCI: What?!
(TONY FANUCI turns to look at the smashed water cooler and his gut swings around and POPS JUDGE JENNINGS in the face.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: Oh!
(JUDGE JENNINGS clutches his eye in pain. He advances on TONY FANUCI.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: Why don't you be careful?
(JUDGE JENNINGS pokes TONY FANUCI in the eye.)

KELLY MILLIS: Move your gut before you hurt somebody.

(TONY FANUCI moves away but drops a bucket of paint on JUDGE JENNINGS's nuts. JUDGE JENNINGS clutches his nuts in pain.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: Remind me to tear out your asshole.

TONY FANUCI: I'll make a note of it.
(As TONY FANUCI reaches into his pocket, THE TURD returns and sees the mess they've made. TONY FANUCI, with a tiny pencil and pad, makes a note to himself to remind JUDGE JENNINGS to tear out his asshole.

JUDGE JENNINGS: (annoyed) Give me that!
(JUDGE JENNINGS grabs the pencil away from TONY FANUCI. TONY FANUCI squeals "Oh, a wise guy, eh?" and pulls another pencil from his pocket and starts to write with it. JUDGE JENNINGS grabs the pencil away.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: What's the matter with you?
TONY FANUCI makes a few noises of frustration and then pulls a giant-sized dildo pencil from his jacket and starts to write.

TONY FANUCI: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.

JUDGE JENNINGS grabs the dildo pencil and HITS TONY FANUCI over thehead with it.

TONY FANUCI: Oh! You'll break my dildo!

JUDGE JENNINGS: I'll break your head.
(JUDGE JENNINGS pinches TONY FANUCI's nipples, twists, then snaps his fingers. TONY FANUCI squeals in pain as the THE TURD joins them.)

THE TURD: Say, what are you fuck slaves doing?

JUDGE JENNINGS: Never mind the wisecracks, Sire. We're trying to paint the Great-One's office. What's wrong here?

THE TURD: You fuck faces have ruined my gay porn magazine.

JUDGE JENNINGS: Come on.
(The three Idiots move to the desk.)

THE TURD: You assfucks better fix this, or I'll give you the worst sexing ever!!

JUDGE JENNINGS: Okay. As the THE TURD exits, TONY FANUCI calls after him.

TONY FANUCI: Hey! Bring me back a piece of boint toast and a rotten egg!

KELLY MILLIS: Burnt toast and a rotten egg?

TONY FANUCI: Yeah, I got a tapewoym in my ass and that's good enough for 'im.

JUDGE JENNINGS (pushes TONY FANUCI): Go on! Get busy!

The 3 Idiots get to work. TONY FANUCI sees a latex vagina atop the desk. He pulls it out and puts it in his mouth.

JUDGE JENNINGS (to KELLY MILLIS): What the fuck?

KELLY MILLIS: Listen here fine sir, I won't tolerate that language.

JUDGE JENNINGS (grabs KELLY MILLIS' nipples, twists, and snaps his fingers)

KELLY MILLIS (in a high pitch) AWWWHHHH!!!!

TONY FANUCI puts the latex in the mirror.

TONY FANUCI (to the device): Say, "Ahh!"

JUDGE JENNINGS (to TONY FANUCI,): What do you got here?
(JUDGE JENNINGS pulls on the device, stretching it out.)

TONY FANUCI: Hey, gimme that! Gimme that! You're gonna make it be like trowin' a hot dog down a hallway!!!"
(JUDGE JENNINGS releases the latex device -- it snaps back and WHACKS TONY FANUCI in the nose.)

TONY FANUCI: Ohhh!
(JUDGE JENNINGS violently pulls the latex from TONY FANUCI's aroused hands, causing a POPPING sound. TONY FANUCI GNASHES his teeth pneumatically at JUDGE JENNINGS who hands the latex back to him.)

JUDGE JENNINGS: Now, go on! Get busy like I told ya! (to KELLY MILLIS) Go on!
(JUDGE JENNINGS shoos KELLY MILLIS away from the desk, sits, and puts on the headphones and grabs some KY jelly. He puts a dvd porno in the player. TONY FANUCI pulls the latex being grasped by JUDGE JENNINGS causing him to be pulled forward violently. JUDGE JENNINGS's head SMASHES into the wall.

JUDGE JENNINGS: Oh!
(JUDGE JENNINGS pulls back, drawing the latex backwards. This frustrates TONY FANUCI who squeals and pulls on it again -- too hard. He stumbles backward and out of the scene. There is a huge CRASH. JUDGE JENNINGS and KELLY MILLIS jump in horror as we PAN QUICKLY TO TONY FANUCI sitting in a bucket full of feces.)

TONY FANUCI: Woo-woo. Woo-hoo-hoo. Hey, KELLY! Help me! I'm surrounded! Woo-hoo-hoo!
(JUDGE JENNINGS and KELLY MILLIS rush to TONY FANUCI's aid. They push the plank away and, each grabbing an arm, lift TONY FANUCI (who's covered in execrement) to his feet.

JUDGE JENNINGS: Get up. (to KELLY MILLIS, off the bucket wedged onto TONY FANUCI's rear): Get a hold o' that! (JUDGE JENNINGS grabs TONY FANUCI by the head and KELLY MILLIS pulls the bucket off of TONY FANUCI's rear. The rest of the excrement spills everywhere.KELLY MILLIS and JUDGE JENNINGS FALLS into the feces covered floor in the process. THE TURD walks in and plays the trumpet.

(FADE TO BLACK...)