Man sues American Airlines

Braddock County, Texas

Tony Fanuci, 41, filed a $200,000 lawsuit Monday against Dallas based American Airlines, alleging that a passenger masturbated in the seat next to him and then ejaculated on his hair.

Fanuci was on his way to visit his master, The Liberal Librarian, who is campaigning for Senator Hillary Clinton in Pennsylvania, The Braddock Times reports. The suit claims Fanuci was sitting in an empty row when the plane took off, and then fell asleep. When he woke up, he says he found a substance in his hair and a man masturbating in the seat next to him. Fanuci claims that when he asked the flight attendants for help, and requested the man be removed and taken back to his assigned seat, the staff did nothing.

"They just laught at my ass! It was very humiliating," Fanuci said. American Airlines officials maintain that appropriate action was taken and the man was arrested when the plane landed.

Judge Jennings, of the 5th Circuit Superior Court, threw this case out on a technicality that Fanuci is legally a slave and his testimony is therefore inadmissable in court.