Sexually Aroused Mentally Disabled Man Batters Friend, caretaker

Pride, TX — A 44-year-old, mentally retarded man is in custody after police said he chased his caretaker with a knife and beat his 34 year-old retarded friend with a dildo because of a change in computer privileges.

The retarded man, whose full name is not being released by the Pride Post because of his disability, (though his first name is Letravis) was charged with aggravated assault and battery after police were called to a shack at the Mount Holy Olive Peoples Temple Agricultural Project to investigate a disturbance. Letravis was arrested Sunday and taken to the South-Side Detention Center in Pride.

No one was injured, reports show. However the caretaker, Tony Fanuci did soil himself. His mentally retarded friend, David likewise made a muddy mess in his drawers.

Police said Letravis was on the "Libtown" computer when he grew angry over changes to the system made by Libtown leader, the Liberal Librarian, but enforced by Tony Fanuci. Police said Letravis then threw several objects and picked up a knife and a dildo.

A sobbing Fanuci told police that Letravis pushed him several times while clutching the knife. He also struck the David with the dildo, police said.

Letravis screamed at the police about his girlfriend, presumably the woman portrayed on the pornographic site he was viewing (www.cakefarts.com). Letravis was arrested by police and taken into custody.

Stinky Fatass Gambler Fuming Over Casino Ejection

By WAYNE PARRY – 5 days agoLas Vegas, N.V. (UP) — Yes, Tony Fanuci stunk. He's the first to admitit. The 540-pound Libtown man said he was playing poker in a Las Vegas casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave.

Dave Coskey, a spokesman for the Moidatyts Hotel Casino & Spa, said it is company policy not to comment on matters involving their customers. Fanuci said he told casino officials: "There's no question I stink. Iain't denying it. I have a rancid ass odor. I've been playing for 17 hours. Unfoytunately, for my ass, I haven't yet got up to take a dump or clean myself. My Depends Undagaments are about to bust!"

Fanuci, the 41-year-old slave to the Liberal Librarian (founder of Libtown), says he is a frequent gambler at the Moidatyts. He said a poker room manager walked up and informed him that patrons at his table were complaining about his noxious body odor. When Fanuci tried to ignore the manager's statement, he said a manager told him he couldn't play anymore and to leave.

Fanuci said he asked for a free room to freshen up, and the casino refused. Fanuci promptly filed a complaint about his treatment with the Casino Control Commission. His complaint will be reviewed to determine whether any state gambling laws or regulations were violated, a commission spokesman said Wednesday.

Fanuci said his instinks tell him to find a different casino to patronize, but he likes gambling at the Moidatyts. He said the casino was out of line to tell him he smells like defacation in front of other patrons."I would like an apology, the noive of those guys saying I stink....why I oughtaaa....." Fanuci said.